I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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