I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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