You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
