well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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