i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
