I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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