There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
