Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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