i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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