I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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