'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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