therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
