Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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