I haven't been this sober since birth.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
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you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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