and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
