yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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