I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
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Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
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Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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