I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
