and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
