y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
