There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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