then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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