This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
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I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
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There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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