i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
