Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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