I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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