Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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