Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we made out on top of his cat.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
