He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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