Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
