HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
