what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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