He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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