Three words: puerto rican gang bang
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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