think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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