she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
