I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
