Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize