Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
