I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
