My liver just broke up with me...
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
