tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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