is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
