Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
