So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
