She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize