Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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