if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize