okay pat passed out under dana's car
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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