If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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