How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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