Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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