3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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