I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
