he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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