she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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