I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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