we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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