Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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