I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
