Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
