This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
